Max

I lived with my mother and her various boyfriends until I was 11. Up to that point, I had been told I had siblings, and I’d also met them, but while my oldest and most frequently seen brother, Max, was the one I knew the most, he was 13 years older than me. We had a lot in common, and I believe a huge chunk of my interests were influenced entirely by him. He’s the one to introduce me to World of Warcraft. When I was 8, I cut my hair in an attempt to look what I thought was … Continue reading Max

31. Welcome Home

When I was little, around 7 or so, I got into an argument with my mom. I felt so angry, over something stupid, I’m sure. I was so upset, I decided the only thing to fix my woes was to run away. I emptied my barbie doll suitcase (it was the only one I owned), and I packed my necessities. A toy or two, or three, and a gatorade with some goldfish. In my eyes, that was all I needed. I told my mom I was leaving, and that I never wanted to see her again. I made it outside, … Continue reading 31. Welcome Home

29. Episode 1

I can pinpoint the first time I truly became desperate in my life. I had recently turned 12, my 6th grade year had ended (my birthday’s April 27th). It was 2007, and prior to those two weeks, my mom, August, was acting strange. A term I would later come to understand as paranoid. She had sold all of our furniture, and what wasn’t sold, had been pushed to the back yard for “renovation” of our carpet. I didn’t question that at the time, our floor was at least 20 years old and absolutely disgusting. Then, I could only play outside … Continue reading 29. Episode 1

25. My Hannah Rose

He’s a little bit of something new. I know I briefly mentioned that my mom wrote letters to me while I was in foster care. I was cleaning out some of my paper hoard from my time in college, and came across some of them. I thought I’d share one. I’ll be doing my best to transcribe. I can read most of it, but some of the letters blur together in places; especially when her emotions got the better of her during writing. She drew a rose, which I’ll take a picture of and put as the icon for this … Continue reading 25. My Hannah Rose

22. Opening Up To People

As long as I can remember, I’ve had issues opening up to people. With my first crush, I told my friend and she betrayed that trust by telling him. It took me a long time and only until college before I felt willing enough to even start talking about boys to friends. When I was little, opinions and arguments were considered ‘disobedience’, and I was often beaten for trying to advocate for myself or, in some cases, tell my mom’s boyfriend why I didn’t think he should be around. Even telling facts was off-limits for that segment. In 6th and … Continue reading 22. Opening Up To People